Monday, June 6, 2011

Introducing...

Benjamin Jackson  & Elizabeth May
  18",  4#14oz              19",  5#3oz



Beautiful in every way!

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Updates, updates...

I have missed so much, I am a bad, bad blogger. I am officially in the third trimester. How great is that. And I'm now at 32 weeks. Only 6 weeks to go. 6 weeks-doesn't seem real. Seems, I don't know, like someone else is going to have twins in June. I still see other pregnant woman and a tiny twinge of jealousy and then I realize, wait, that's me too. Although now that I'm very obviously showing, I can't say I'm a fan of all the "helpful" comments. I know people are just excited or happy or friendly, but it's weird to me to ask a stranger, "when are you due", "do you know what you're having". It's just such an invasion of privacy. I always just answer, I don't mind telling people, it's just weird. And then there was the lady at the grocery store who told me of her story to start labor. Have sex. Yes, I know that is one of those things you can try, but who tells a random customer that at work? It was just weird. I know we're all full of these stories, but I can't say I will be sad when I don't have to endure them. And then when the babies are here, I'll get all sorts of other annoying comments. Now on to baby updates...

I had my first biophysical profile last friday and it was nice. They measure a couple of things, I know one is amniotic fluid level and another is that the baby is practicing breathing. Apple passed with flying colors, but it did take Banana a little while to pass. Then they sent me to the hospital for a Non-Stress Test. They just strap HB monitors to your belly and make sure they have a certain number of acceleration in a certain time. The trick with twins is that they have to be at the same time. Not exactly the same time, but the same time period. So it seemed one monitor would be positioned fine and then the other baby would move or the monitor would move, so it took a good 1.5 hours. And I didn't know I was going to have to go to the hospital, so I had appointments and errands I had to do. I've got another one tomorrow, so hopefully, it will go better now that I know what to expect.

And then this morning I get a call to schedule my c-section! AH! It was from the office that is doing the BPP's, but not the one who is even going to do the delivery, but I couldn't tell them that on the phone. So right now I have a c-section date of June 21st @ 10:30. It's next month. Like, the next one. Coming up. Soon. I am so ready to meet these amazing babies of mine, but I'm not ready for it to be here. I know that makes no sense, but I don't know how to explain it. I'm not really nervous (except for the twin delivery part-I'm worried they won't get to banana quick enough or something, I don't know), I guess I just can't believe my dream is about to come true. I am so darn lucky. Double lucky.

Friday, April 29, 2011

Go check your soap for Triclosan and throw it away right now!

Scary stuff...Triclosan is very dangerous. Please remove it from your home immediately and encourage others to not use anti-bacterial soap.


http://www.foodandwaterwatch.org/factsheet/triclosan-what-the-research-shows-2008-2010/

Fetal Growth and Development

An alarming new scientific finding links triclosan to potential
negative birth outcomes. In late 2010, scientists at the
University of Florida published their discovery that triclosan
interferes with an enzyme that helps estrogen cross
the placenta to reach the growing fetus.19 Estrogen is vital
for the growth and development of major organs, like the
lungs and liver, in a growing fetus. Miscarriage can occur
when estrogen is unable to cross the placenta.20
Making matters worse, new data published in January
2011 reveal high levels of triclosan in pregnant women.
Using a nationally representative sample of the United
States population from the NHANES 2003-2004 data,
researchers found that while concentrations of chemicals
in pregnant women were similar if not lower than in
non-pregnant women, triclosan was one of few exceptions
found to be more highly concentrated.21

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Baby showers aren't supposed to be scary!

So my mom wants to have a small family baby shower for me on memorial day. Of course I had to say yes. She didn't get to throw my first baby shower as her house was too small for it. My aunt and I did. It is supposed to be more of a picnic/baby shower (as I did already have one), but it still freaks me out. Don't get me wrong-I'm pretty kinda confident in this all working out great in the end, but it's like the name thing. I don't want to commit. Every time I feel them move, I am reassured that everything is OK, but until I feel them for the first time in the morning, I'm still nervous. I still even use the doppler sometimes. Granted that is more because I love to hear them moving around in there. It sometimes catches me off guard that I actually and truly have two babies growing and living and breathing inside me. Pregnancy really is a true miracle!

Friday, April 22, 2011

Good friday so I'll post good stuff

Yesterday we had another U/S. By my favorite US tech ever. I saw her with my m/c last summer and she was pregnant at the time, but so sweet and nice. I hadn't seen her in awhile, because she was out on maternity. I was happy to have her back. So nice to have good, competent US techs.

Apple and Banana are measuring ahead again. Apple is 3#4oz, Banana 3#1oz. She said they were big for twins especially and that the girls always seem to measure a little smaller. It makes me a little nervous, but it's OK. 3oz is nothing to worry about as long as they are both doing well. We also got to talk about names. Everyone asks about if we've picked names yet. We (or I) have not. To me, they are apple and banana. I like calling them that. The tech said she picked the name Hank to call her baby (but is not his real name) and she liked calling him that. And I don't know why, but it just seems weird to pick names. I can't explain it. I have a feeling it is my subconcious worried about yet another step towards commitment. Darn RPL rearing it's ugly head again. It seems I can never be completely worry free. But this is a good news post...

I also had to go again for another double dose of Ivig. This one went extremely smooth, no headache or tiredness after. And Dr. Kwak and I had a long discussion about Lyme disease and miscarriage. She is very intrigued into it's relationship into pregnancy loss. In essence it is an infection that causes autoimmunity. And immunity is her thing. She is always wanting to learn as much as she can. And she is the most amazing doctor I have ever had-she is interested in you as a patient and a person. I love her!

Thursday, April 14, 2011

3 hour glucose passed! And I almost passed out too :)

So I got the call yesterday that I passed my 3 hour glucose test. Yeah! I knew I would, I eat no sugar, except fruit. So of course give me some nasty glucose drink and my body's going to go crazy. Plus, I didn't know that I was going to get the test, so I had just eaten an orange with my iron prenatal before my failed test. Oranges aren't exactly low sugar either. The fun thing was that after I had to fast all morning (not easy for a starving pregnant lady), then drink the nasty drink, I got super dizzy and sweaty and seeing black. I almost passed out once before at an US, so I knew it was going to happen again in the waiting room of the drs office. So I barely made it back, but luckily once I reclined a little and got some cold towels, I was fine. It is such an uncomfortable feeling when you know you're going to pass out. So out of control.

Ultrasound today at my MFM office, hopefully apple and banana are growing well. I am a little concerned because a week ago I lost 5 lbs when I was sick and I really haven't been gaining anymore. But I guess I had to regain the 5 lbs first. And it doesn't help that my diet is so limited. But I feel good. Here are my favorite sites of the diet that I roughly follow that keeps me healthy. I eat more fruits and carbs than is recommended, but I'm pregnant, I get too!

http://thehealthyskeptic.org/

http://www.marksdailyapple.com/

Saturday, April 9, 2011

28 weeks, woo hoo, third trimester!

28 weeks, 28 weeks, 28 weeks...oh how I love thee. Although I would much rather be at 38 weeks! I know I'm just being impatient, but I want them to be here. I want to have a c-section and be in the hospital and hold them. Oh, how much I want to see their faces and kiss their toes. I am ready for them to be in this world. And meet their family. And we are so excited to meet them. I think the spring weather is getting to me. Is it June yet?
On another note, I failed my stupid glucose test! The range is under 130 is OK, and guess what I got-130! So I'm pretty sure I should pass the 3 hour test, but I don't want to do it. 3 hours at the doctor, yuck! I'm thinking I didn't pass because my body doesn't know how to handle sugar. And that's what the drink is-pure sugar. I eat no sugar. Once I was having yeast issues, I cut it all out. Now I do unsweetened almond milk, almond butter no sugar, and no sweets at all. No candy, chocolate, cookies, nothing. But then I read you should eat carbs before the test to give your body a better grip on handling it, so I might indulge in my favorite coconut ice cream. Yum!

Monday, April 4, 2011

NK numbers high, Ivig in my future

It seems as though if it isn't one thing, it's another. So two weeks ago my TNF number was high. The is the ratio of TH1 to TH2 cells you have. During pregnancy, you want more TH2 so that your body doesn't reject the baby. So I got more Ivig. Then last week my NK number was high. You sometimes want NK high to fight cancer, etc, but in pregnancy it can also attack your baby. So now I get a double dose of Ivig on wednesday. I am very lucky that I don't have any reaction to Ivig (some women report nasuea, headache, fever), but when I get a double dose I get a bad headache. And it means I have to be there forever getting the infusion. But of course I'm happy to do it if it means my babes are safe. I wonder if my NK's could have been up because I was sick last week. My body trying to fight the cold. I am happy that I am all better now!

Monday, March 28, 2011

Ugh...I'm so sick!

So I made it through an entire winter avoiding all the germs and now that spring is here I get sick. I guess it's a good thing really, as it means my immune system is down and not fighting the babies and such, but it's not fun. I hate being sick. And of course its spring break, so my son is home and I feel like a bad mom having to stay home for vacation. Luckily he is weird and would rather stay home any day than go out, but it's still no fun. Have I said how much I hate being sick?

Thursday, March 24, 2011

100 days to go!

Ah...that's crazy. Today I looked at my little baby floaty thing and it said 100 days to go. That's awesome. I can not wait. You know what else is crazy? My OB (one of them) actually wanted me to schedule my c-section date! For June 20th! I didn't though. Made me too nervous. Like if I scheduled it, I'd go into preterm labor tomorrow. And that would not be good. These guys have to stay in here until at least June. And I still have to decide for sure who I'm going to have do the delivery. I'm leaning towards the OB who I've been with the whole time (thru the m/c's and d&c's and IUI). And plus, he delivers at a level 3 NICU, the other is only level 2. Plus my pediatrician is out of that hospital. Sounds like I just made the decision. Problem solved.
Now for updates...Apple is the big one this time, weighing in at 2#2oz and in the 65th percentile, while Banana is 2# and in the 54th percentile. So very good for twins. Grow babies grow!

And just as a side note because my blog can't always be about babies, you know what I find so annoying? People complaining about the weather. Now don't get me wrong. I am not happy either when it goes from 65 to 30, but c'mon people, you live in Chicago...what do you expect? If you don't like it (or the snow), then fricking move! It gets cold sometimes, a lot even, but really 65 was a treat, so enjoy that and take the spring-like weather for what it is because before long it will be 90 with 90% humidity and you'll be complaining about that too!

Friday, March 18, 2011

Just cruising along...

Things continue to go well. I just had an US yesterday and apple measured 1#9oz, and banana measured 1#10oz. It seems to go back and forth who baby is bigger. I know last time banana was a little smaller.

I felt it was a good time seeing as things are going well to outline my treatments for this pregnancy to help anyone out here who is in RPL hell. Of course this isn't the answer for everyone, but it's a start if RPL is ruining your life.

So, for this pregnancy I am doing the following protocol:
  1. Ivig - I am getting a 35g dose every other week, was every week and also 70g every other week depending on Natural Killer Cell levels. This is the most important thing I could be doing. Everyone needs to try it.
  2. P.rednisone - I am currently down to 7.5mg, but was at 20mg/day at the beginning
  3. L.ovenox - I only get 40mg every other day as my clotting issues are minor
  4. A.moxicillin - I was diagnosed with chronic Lyme disease last year. Here is some more info about it. Please get tested if you are unsure. I feel so much better and I'm not thru treatment yet. http://www.ilads.org/lyme_disease/B_guidelines_12_17_08.pdf
  5. Z.ithromax - See above for Lyme disease info.
  6. Gluten, dairy, and sugar-free - This has been crucial to my success. I believe that many current health issues are due to our diet. I hope to follow the Paleo diet strictly after my pregnancy. It is the healthiest diet there is. I'm just too hungry now to completely eliminate grains for now. I like this blogger's posts about the subject as he gives proof why this diet works. http://thehealthyskeptic.org/
So, that's my story in a nutshell. I see many doctors to help manage this pregnancy and some believe the others are crazy. But I find the best doctors are those that give them some credit, even if they don't agree with it. And always look for a doctor with "DO" (doctor of osteopathy). I have three of them and I like them a lot. They tend to be more open minded. And don't be afraid to switch doctors. You owe them nothing. It is your body, your health. Do what you need to do! 

Saturday, March 12, 2011

24 weeks-Viability

Wow-24 weeks-wow! I was just reading a blog of a mom who just gave birth to her twins at 24 weeks. The miracle of modern medicine is amazing. My babies would have a chance. A darn good chance. Of course I'm hoping for many, many more weeks (you hear that apple and banana!) But I know that they would be OK if something were to happen. And the further I get, the even more monitoring I get. I currently have 2 OB's, 2 MFM's, 1 RI and they all want to see me every two weeks. But it is bringing me to the realization that I've got to decide who's gonna deliver me. I think the deciding factor is the better hospital. One hospital is level 2 NICU, the other level 3. Gotta go with the better NICU.

But today I celebrate. Viability. Maybe I'll even be brave enough to do my first belly shot. I hate them, but seeing as though this may be my final pregnancy, I don't want to miss anything.

Friday, March 11, 2011

No more blood!

Hm, so I have no idea what happened on Sunday...but it hasn't come back! And I had an US on wednesday and apple and banana are doing great. Although, I must vent. My RI has the best US tech, I love her (although her room is the hottest ever). Well I got a call from the nurse to see if I could move my Ivig and US to weds when I knew she wasn't there when I scheduled with her two weeks ago. I thought maybe her plans changed. Oh no-she wasn't there. It was a different tech that was not good. The word sucked come to mind! She only got one measurement of everything, used more gel than I've ever seen, took forever to get the blood flow (granted it usually takes awhile), and I got NO PICTURES! I'm not sure who she is, but I will make sure to not see her again. She was worse than the tech who get "bouncing" banana with the wand to make her turn to see her face. I did not like that.

And-the best thing-I'm at 24 weeks tomorrow! Yeah! Viability. Although I hope to make it months past tomorrow, it is a good milestone to reach. It's a comfort zone for me. It lets me actually work on the nursery, wash some baby clothes from my son (man he had a lot of clothes)! Now if only I could pick names. Everyone keeps asking. I don't know why, but it feels weird to pick a name. I want to see them first. Of course I want to have ideas, but I like calling them apple and banana while still inside. Maybe it's just me.

It's like my son saying, why are you doing all this stuff-they're not alive yet. Freaked me out the first time he did it. I had to remind myself that to him, they are just pictures. It's weird for me to sometimes think about them being born, for him, it's nothing he's experienced before. He will soon though! Only three more months!

Monday, March 7, 2011

Seriously...blood...seriously?!?!

So last night I noticed a tiny spot of blood on the TP. I thought I was past this. I want to be past this. I was also diagnosed with a stupid yeast infection (which I know is super common) last week, so after panicking about using the category "C" medicine and debating about whether or not I would risk sticking something in "there" (which is way too risky for me to fathom), I did it. And apple and banana were fine. They are actually still fine with the blood from last night-as movement is still good. Hi babies!

But then I got to thinking-blood doesn't have no reason. It went away, but it was there. So then I had convinced myself that I had bacterial vaginosis. And that is something you don't want to google. Seriously. Increased risk for premature labor, low birth weight, and second trimester MISCARRIAGE! Seriously!?!? I do not need that kind of scare. The good news is that I had called my doc to find out how they knew about the yeast and she said they ran the full panel of infections, so no, I do not have BV. I'll feel better when I actually talk to the dr tomorrow about it, versus hearing it from the not-so-nice nurse, but for now I'm 80% better.

It's so weird to read the blogs of IF's who are recently pregnant. You think, poor them, they are at the height of their worry. And it's true, I was more worried then, earlier in the pregnancy. But it never goes away. Ever. It might get a little better, but it's also a little worse because there's more to lose. Not to saw my babies are any better than 6 week old babies, but I've come so far. Things are going well. I'm at 23 weeks. That's amazing. I guess it's the same old story, just a different chapter.

Now, prayers for no more blood!

Monday, February 28, 2011

Happy Birthday Matt!

Happy Birthday to the love of my life-my son Matt. Today you turn seven (wow-7!) and I am so proud to be your mom. You are smart, caring and creative. I hope you have a great day. :)
Love, Mom

Sunday, February 20, 2011

Is it a boy or a girl? Who wants to know?

So we actually found out the genders about a month ago. It was a little early though and I didn't want to get my hopes up that she was right. It turns out she was. One boy and one girl! I could not have asked for anything more perfect. We got to see everything up close and personal at the US on wednesday and it is for sure one of each. When I had my one US for my son (hah-one US!), the tech said she was 80% it was a girl. Well, to me 80%=100% and I was having a girl. So I had planned on a girl. Needless to say, when I had my c-section, we found out it was a boy. We didn't even have a boy name picked out! So I was just trying to be cautious this time and not get too excited to be having a boy and a girl. Now, I can't wait!

Saturday, February 19, 2011

I don't know if I like my new MFM

So I met the new MFM (Maternal Fetal Medicine) Specialist on weds and I don't hate him, but I don't love him. I guess that's better than not liking him at all. The problem is-I love my other MFM and my RI, Dr. Kwak loves him too. The other problem is-I don't really like any of the OB's with the MFM that I like. And I don't like the hospital I would deliver at as much. The one I want to deliver at has a level III NICU, whereas the other one is only level II. Decisions, decisions. I guess I'll just keep going to both of them for now and decide later.
But for now things are good. Babies are measuring right on track. Level II US went well, everything was there and measuring good. Only concern was my cervix. The MFM measured it and it was between 2.2-2.7. 2.5 is the least they want it to be. So I'm kinda there. When it was measured the next day and it was 2.9. So better. I'm going to try and not worry about it. I go back for a recheck in two weeks and I have another level II US on wednesday, so I should be pretty well covered. And there's nothing I can do about it except bedrest, which I'm trying to do.

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Welcome to the world little baby boy!

My good blogger friend Kristi is having her baby today!!! Please keep her and her son in your thoughts and prayers today for a fast, easy labor and delivery. Good luck Kristi-here he comes!

http://lettheivfrollercoasterridebegin.blogspot.com/

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

20 weeks, two US's in a row and meeting a new MFM

So on Saturday I officially hit 20 weeks! Woohoo! 20 weeks is huge. It's halfway there, and it's when my RI starts lowering my meds because the placenta is functioning well and is taking over even more. So I am off my progesterone, lowering my pred from 20 to 15 and doing Ivig every other week. I'm scared. But I have to remember I'm not the only pregnant person my RI has seen and she knows what she's doing. And my natural killer levels will be tested on thursday to make sure they are OK. If not, more Ivig.
But the thing is, I am a worrier. Image that. I see a problem-I want it fixed, now. So I see my NK levels being high before, so what if they are high right now and I need Ivig on thursday, but we don't get the results until monday, then I can't get it until tuesday. That is too long to wait for me. I want it now. I'm so afraid of doing the wrong thing. But it will be OK. If I need the Ivig, I'll get it.
So tomorrow I get to meet a different MFM that is at the hospital I want to deliver at. Which is a good thing. Of course I need a high risk doc at the right hospital. But if I like him/her, I will no longer go to my other MFM who I really, really like, but I don't really like any of the OB's at that office, or the hosiptal and I'm still mad at them for screwing up my US last week. This office called me at asked me to come in early because they didn't realize it was twins. Didn't try to reschedule.
Then thursday I get to go to my RI for another US. They do the special blood flow test to make sure the blood flow is OK to the babies that I've never had anyone else do. It's stupid to have 2 US's in a row, but I've then got the other US next week too, so it wouldn't do any good to reschedule. So instead I get to enjoy two peeks at my babies.
On a side note, has anyone else ever starting losing a bunch of hair while pregnant? About when I came off progesterone, I started losing a bunch of hair. They tested my thyroid and it was great, so not that. Any ideas anyone?

Thursday, February 10, 2011

The best thing happened this morning!

So lately I have been having worse insomnia often staying up for 3 hours at night or waking up at 4 am. Well, today at 4am I got to feel someone kicking me in the side!!! I have been feeling them move around for awhile now, but this time I had my hand on my belly side because I was laying on my left side like a good pregnant lady, and I could feel a kick (or a punch or butt I suppose). It was awesome. The first time that I really, truly felt like a normal pregnant woman. Even after all the US's, doppler checks, feeling movement inside, it's real. I am going to be a mom to twins. AH! I'm so excited!
And speaking of US's-so yesterday I was supposed to have a level 2 US (detailed anatomy). I scheduled this a month ago with my MFM. So Tuesday they called me saying it was too early and they only scheduled it for one hour (it's supposed to be two). I was pissed because 1) I had rescheduled an US with my other office because of this one 2) I had scheduled this a month ago when my MFM told me too. He surely knows more than an US tech (no offense to US techs) and 3) I was looking forward to it. But after getting nowhere with the office all day and having them even page my MFM, I have to wait two more weeks! Yes, after they screwed up with the appt, they couldn't even squeeze me in sooner. But it's OK because I have an US next week with my RI.
More Ivig tomorrow-which is apparently working, because it has finally brought my ANA's down, which makes my immunologist very happy. And me happy too. And excited too-can't wait to feel more babies move!

Friday, January 28, 2011

Almost halfway there!

So tomorrow I will be 18 weeks! Wow, that's good. My MFM says most twins are born at 36 weeks, so that means I'll be halfway there. Of course I hope they stay in as long as they can to make them bigger, but it will be what it is.
I finally got the results of my progesterone and the nurse said it was fine at 46-so I trust that she's right. And I don't miss the daily shots in the butt. Now I've got to wean off the prometrium pills. More scary stuff. It's easy to stay on those forever. The charts say it should be 17-146. That's a big range. But I'm going to triple check with the nurse again next week when I go for Ivig again.
And next week I get another US too! Can't wait. Two weeks is too long to wait! I'm spoiled. And lucky. Very, very lucky.

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Stupid Q.uest!

So I've got to have my blood drawn fairly regularly to check all my levels (NK, progesterone, etc) and I wanted to save myself a 3 hour trip, so my RI's office said I could just go to Q.uest and then ship it to them. Costs a little, but saves 3 hours! So I get there and they're like-where's your kit? Um, don't have one, just give me the tubes full of blood and I'll be on my way. Well, we usually have the person bring the tubes and a box. Can you give me the tubes? Yes, it will be $4. OK. Well, we won't let you ship it without a box. I have a box. Let me check with corporate. They say no. So now I've got to drive 3 hours for a 2 minute jab. Q.uest sucks!

Friday, January 21, 2011

US went well, but I'm scared to be off my progesterone!

The US went great yesterday. There is a new machine in the office, so it took a little longer and it was lunch time and I got so dizzy, I almost fell off the table!!! I've felt dizzy before at home, but nothing this bad. My head was wobbly, it got dark and I saw sweating like crazy. I guess it wouldn't have been the worst place to pass out. Luckily I had a muffin in my purse, so that worked like a charm. Unfortunately she had to still get 3D on baby B, who had turned around. Banana is always backwards in there. We always see their butt!

In other news I got to stop my PIO shots. It scares the heck out of me. Anyone who has done those know they are the worst, they hurt like heck! But they were comforting, knowing that my progesterone was over 100. Now it's going to go down, and make me nervous. But I guess I couldn't stay on it forever.When did anyone else go off their PIO shots? And I'll find out on tuesday where my level is at. I don't even know what the number should be at this point. But I'm sure my doc does!

And, I get to have iron-defeciency anemia. Lucky me! I guess it is super common, especially with twin pregnancies. I'm nervous about taking an iron pill though, because iron is not supposed to be good for those with autoimmune issues. It's supposed to feed the bugs. But I can't be anemic either, so I guess I will have to take it temporarily. I just hope it works. Anyone else have to take iron while pregnant?

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

No news is good news.

I haven't updated in awhile as things are going fine. No new US's (although I have one thursday), so there's not much news. Still hearing the HB on the doppler, so I assume apple and banana are growing away in there.

In less exciting news, I had to buy my first maternity pants. Man, are they comfortable. I understand why women wear them for so long after baby. Elastic waists are my friend.

So, US on thursday...here's to healthy, growing little babies!

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Things continue to go well.

The US on Monday went fine. It was a quick one just to check and make sure the bleeding had officially stopped and no more bleeds showed up after re-starting lovenox. No bleeds and no bleeding. Still out of the red. Had another OB appointment yesterday which found the HB's quickly. He's sending me to a MFM (Maternal Fetal Medicine) specialist associated with the hospital I want to deliver at. I am currently seeing a MFM with another hospital who I really like and I have seen for awhile now, so I'm not sure what I'm going to do. Which doc I'm going to see. I don't like the OB's with the MFM I see now, so I don't want to switch to that office to deliver me. We'll see how the new MFM is. Sometimes specialists are jerks.
I really want to do something pregnancy related. Buy something. Bedding, clothes, diapers, maternity pants (which I desperately need). But I'm just too scared. I don't want to jinx anything. But seriously, I'm at 15 weeks. I'm not bleeding. Those are huge things. But I'm still scared. I keep thinking once I get to 20 weeks, I'll be OK, but I don't think it will ever stop. I can't help it. I can't lose these miracles. I am so lucky to have them, and I need to see them, touch them, feed them, love them this summer. I want them to meet their amazing big brother and see him smile ear to ear with pride to be a great big brother. It's hard to not be scared when you have an apple and banana growing in you and you want to take care of them until they can be safely born. But I'm going to try...for my miracles.

Monday, January 10, 2011

US day

US day, US day, keeping my fingers crossed for US day. No more bleeding, HB's heard, things should go OK. Still wearing my lucky necklace, lucky bracelet, praying for 2 HB's and bringing my lucky husband-just in case ;)

Friday, January 7, 2011

Ask and you shall receive.

So I guess all I had to do was say, please can I stop bleeding and POOF! it's gone. Yeah! I am so happy. And having good luck with my doppler again, so it's been easy to find the HB's again. Although how do you know if you're finding the same one twice or not? I am not a small girl, so I can't tell for sure. I have some "padding" to go thru.
I can't believe I'll be 15 weeks tomorrow! How exciting. Never, ever (except for my son) made it this far. I've even gone so far to think about a nursery and themes, which will be owls (my favorite) of course!
Things are looking good and I've got another US Monday just to check. I can't wait. I love seeing my little apple and banana!

Thursday, January 6, 2011

Apparently the answer is no.

So my US went great. Both babies measuring perfect, perfect HB's. But the bleed is gone. Which is great, really. But then why the heck am I still bleeding? It's not a lot, but it's still there. And if there's not a bleed in my uterus, where is it coming from? The only far-fetched sort of explanation I can muster is when I started bleeding I had taken some milk thistle (an herb). I had been taking it before pregnancy, and I read somewhere that it is OK to take. Then after I started bleeding I looked it up further and one of the warnings is it causes uterine bleeding. Well, of course. But now, it has to be out of my system by now, so it seems unlikely that that is the culprit. I'm just grasping for straws here and trying to rationalize that everything will be OK. I'm at 14W5D...the odds are in my favor. Please let everything be OK. I've got another US on Monday to check on the babies. Let's hope the bleeding is just a distant memory by then!

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Can't I just stop bleeding?

So the bleeding is really throwing me off. I do not like it, one little bit. It was going away monday and tuesday and then last night it came back. It has mostly gone away this morning, but I hate it. It makes me worry. But I guess everything makes me worry. I just got Ivig yesterday, so I should be OK, and I have an US today, but I still need prayers. Prayers that my little apple and banana are OK. Prayers for two HB's. Thanks everyone.

Saturday, January 1, 2011

Happy New Year-2011 Here we come!

Happy new year everyone. It's going to be the best year in a very long time. Happy times are coming, things are changing, and getting better. It might prove to be a wild ride, but 2011, I'm ready for ya!